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From January 2010, Sophisticated Woman Magazine - THERE IS A JOKE circulating on e-mail where a man asks the question, "Why is divorce so expensive?" The other man responds, "Because it is worth it!" This does get a laugh on the surface, but when you consider what the real cost is to the families, to the community and to our culture, it may not be so funny after all. 

Knowing and seeing how devasting divorce can be for all parties, especially children, it seemed appropriate to address the real costs of divorce so you could determine whether it is really worth it. Frequently, I hear comments from friends and clients who have gone through a divorce that if they knew then what they know now, they would have done whatever was necessary to attempt to save their marriage.

So, what are the true "costs" of divorce? Of course, the legal fees and court costs are certainly at the top of the tangible costs. Two families living apart is much more expensive than one family living together. But what about the emotional cost? Statistically speaking, the further away you get from God's design for marriage, a man and a woman who come together and commit to love one another for life, the greater the incidence of social, psychological and economic problems for the spouses and the children. Your children will be scarred for life! Our culture is being destroyed little by little every time a marriage is broken. (For further support for why marriage is important and research on the negative impacts divorce imposes on
children, contact joy@wmageelaw.com)

If you have children and choose to divorce, you are then opening up the family to a third party (the new spouse of the other divorced parent) that will have to interact with and have a lasting impact on your children, and you will have no input into who that person will be. How will that impact you and your children and other extended family members at holidays, graduation, birthday parties, weddings, etc? My informal research leads me to conclude that it can be, and usually is, devastating.

It is clear that most, not all, divorces can be avoided if the parties lay aside their personal agendas and egos and put their partner, the marriage and their children at the top of the priority list. If you have children and want them to be the best they can be, you will do whatever it takes to keep a stable home environment for them. If you need help with resources designed to encourage and support your desire to save or build on your marriage, I suggest you contact www.familylife.com.

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